Positive Post #19

February 26, 2018

What a whirlwind the past few days have been. After weeks of being able to stay one step ahead of the flu virus that has been making its rounds through the family, it caught up with me.

I’ve been down and out since late Friday night. Today I finally feel well enough to sit up and type out a quick post.

I’ve felt bad not being able to post anything new for a bit.  But being able to do nothing except think gave me a few things to think about.

Failure has been running rampant through my brain as I was being a layabout.

I started feeling like I was failing at this whole post 28 times this month. My inner critic really amped it up and started telling me that I never should have even tried to do it since in the past I’ve lacked a bit of follow through on my projects.

I’ve been feeling depressed over all of it actually.

But, I’m okay with it.

Once I started feeling okay with feeling depressed an odd thing happened. I started to feel lighter. I know it’s because this wasn’t a deep depression but rather a surface feeling that could easily be dealt with.

This was a familiar feeling too. I am always the harshest with myself over projects that I start and sometimes do not finish in the way I wanted to finish it.

 

letting-go

 

Today I let it go.

I let go of the critical thinking that sets in when I feel like I failed at something, at anything.

I let go of verbally beating myself up over all of it too.

I learned something valuable in all of this – I have to practice more self-care.

Today I feel less of a failure at this posting challenge. Today I honor myself that I tried.

Have a great Monday!

 

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Positive Post #8

February 8, 2018

It’s hard to write a positive post when you’re not feeling positive.

It’s taken me all day today and a conversation with a friend to realize that not feeling or being positive is okay too.

 

It feels weird though to not strive to be happy and up every day. It seems that there is this unwritten rule in society that states you have to always be happy. Well to me that is not normal and I’ve always fought against how I feel so that I can be happy even if happy was not how I was really feeling.

I’ve started to realize too, that it’s okay to not even want to be happy. It’s okay to feel unhappy, sad, depressed, and even angry. I’m learning to feel how I feel in the moment and then release it so that I don’t hold on to emotions that are not serving me well.

I feel like I’m kind of rambling right now so I’ll end the post here. I hope that someone can relate to this the same as I do. At least relate to the concept of not always being happy.

Have a good evening (or not) 🙂