First Writing Campaign Challenge

The first challenge of the writing campaign is to write a flash fiction piece of 200 words or less. The story has to start with – The door swung open.  The title does not count towards the word count.

The optional challenge – to use exactly 200 words and end with – the door swung shut. I went for it.

This is the first Flash Fiction piece I have written. It was definitely a challenge staying at 200 words or less. I hope you enjoy what I went with here.

Mr. Pins

The door swung open, pushed by a silent breeze emanating from the basement. I was told to stay away from that place.  Now I can’t, it’s the only place I haven’t looked, he must be down there.

Standing in the doorway the stench and shadows reach out from the darkness, as if alive, to pool around my ankles. Choking on the scent of death, I take a deep breath and plunge into the black. My eyes fighting to flush out the attack on my senses.

Tears blur my vision as I feel around for a light switch and instead find a sticky liquid oozing from the wall. Then I hear him. A shuffling sound to my right.

Turning I take a step forward, my forehead colliding with a string. Pulling it I sigh with relief as a tepid pool of amber light fills some of the room.

In one shadowed corner I hear him breathing. A rasping, rough sound slides out of the black. Stepping into that darkness I grab Mr. Pins before he escapes again. “Silly old bunny. The basement is no place for you.”

Going back upstairs I put him in his cage and the door swung shut.

33 thoughts on “First Writing Campaign Challenge

  1. Eek! Why are stories so much creepier when they involve children? (or is that just my projection?). You had me at Mr. Pins. 🙂

    • 🙂 Glad you were a bit eeked. But what if the kids are the creepy part? Just thinking out loud there. lol Anyway.. I’m glad you posted about the writing campaign it’s been great for me so far.

  2. Oh carp – I really didn’t expect the bunny! Great tension building scene, although I’m kind of wondering what the liquid on the wall was? Just basement moisture being transformed in the mind of a scared kid?

    • The liquid is really just typical basement moisture. I’m glad it made you wonder though. 😉 Basements creeped me out as a kid and they still do. Attics- not so much, basements – shudder. Happy that you enjoyed it. 🙂

  3. Hello to a fellow campaigner! We’re in the urban fantasy group together. Wow. what a nice twist at the end. I was expecting something really gruesome. Nicely done!

    • 🙂 I was actually trying to make it gruesome at the end, but the story wouldn’t allow it. lol. If I haven’t stopped by your blog yet – I will. Still hopping around.

  4. My basement was a child’s dream – my parents said that my sis and I could have it to ourselves so we “decorated” and scattered toys and had a blast. I really miss having a basement 🙂

  5. You did a really good job of capturing a child’s pov of a basement. i definitely didn’t see the end coming!

    • 🙂 Thanks. The pov was a surprise for me. I hadn’t intended on writing from a kid’s view it sort of just happened. I like when the story surprises me.

    • 🙂 I think we may be the only ones with fluffy animal surprises. But I haven’t read them all yet so it may not be a very true statement. I love the snarky beast in yours. 🙂

  6. I love creepy. And I like Mr.Pins.

    Would like to invite you and your readers to take a look at The Rule of Three Blogfest —a month-long extravaganza in the fictional town of Renaissance this October, with some great prizes, comment love, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing.

    Mr. Pins could come and stay at the town of Renaissance!

  7. I really liked the imagery especially of the stench and shadows pooling around the ankles. I wonder why basements are always so scary? I must admit I still will run out of basement when the creep factor rises. You captured those feelings.

    • Basements are creepy because…hmm..well… There is usually one door in or out and they are under ground – Bah! They are just creepy places period. lol 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it.

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